We have been adjusting to a new schedule. New in many ways! I think I’ll get to that in a later post though. For now, a little background.
My dear husband (“Bebe”) has accepted a full time position at our church. This is huge for us. It has been our prayer for over 12 years to be able to serve the Lord in a “full-time position”. We have basically been serving the Lord “part-time” for many years, although not for a wage. We are so very blessed by this answer to prayer. We are free to commit all our energy to Him!
This change has also come on the heels of a very long few months for our family. Bebe had been working a lot out of town, spending a night or two away, working 16 hours a day (no joke). Then when he was home, he was too utterly exhausted to do much of anything else but rest. That can be challenging for 5 little ones who are excited to see their daddy, and a wife/mother who is desperately needing some adult interaction and reprieve from those 5 sweet little ones. In fact, we were ready to pull back from serving in the church all together.
I “had it out” with the Lord one day. I told Him, “Well fine, Lord. If you just don’t want us to serve you right now, FINE! I’ll stop fighting with you, I give up God!” And, interestingly enough, it was that very weekend our senior pastor invited Bebe to join the pastoral team. Wow. Maybe I should’ve “given up” sooner!
Job 23:10, 14 “But He knows the way that I take…For He performs [what is] appointed for me…”
Don’t you wish you could just remember this basic truth more often? I wish I could!
During those few months, I struggled. Too much really. I could look around and see others in more difficult situations than myself. Husbands that had to be gone for months. I could see marriages falling apart. I was trying to be thankful that Bebe was only gone for a few days at a time. I was definitely thankful for our marriage, and the faithful love that we have for one another. But, I just found myself really struggling. I don’t know why, still. And it kind of bothers me.
I desire to trust the Lord so completely that all else that transpires in my life is truly viewed through a heart and mind that is at peace with Him and that which He allows in my life.
Psalm 25:4 Show me Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths.